Maps

If god exists, it would be in the space between.In the trying to give of oneself. The answer is in the attempt.Someone sharing magic they don't even know they've created.Every internal traffic light.There is a home in your chest. Even when home changes for me each moment. In new cities, and my own. In cars.... Continue Reading →

Feeling like yourself is a practice

One that involves deep breathing and saying things out loud that scare you. Connecting to your inner knowing; the gut feeling that screams at you to scream. And, when you don't you scream - you keep dying. My words stay with you. This I know.They will bond us like concrete.But, I am also prepared that... Continue Reading →

Based on true things

I dreamed you were pressing words out of your fingertips, palms cradling starlight in dark mornings. Then, sun beaming on the hardwood as the dark turned golden. I help you through the words but no one lives here without dying. Do we fear the survivalor the danger of drowning more? Where are the threads that... Continue Reading →

‘The sun has a voracious appetite’

Like all stars, an explosion into red is indeed, the future. Eventually, we are all vapor.And one day, we will look upand the expansion of gasses will flood our vision and burn our skin and shoot our blood and bones likesteam escaping through the crust of a volcano. But, this earth will surely collapselong before... Continue Reading →

The sparrow

She has lived on my skin for 15 years. A promise of return; the darkness always temporary. I never thought of myself as an eagle. I don't consider love to be god,Because, I don't believe in god. I believe in love more than the migration of birds. More than the science of flock. My talons... Continue Reading →

our power

say yes to the pull of desire, what makes your soul burn,the people that set you on fire, every single experience that expandsin your chest like a hurricane. stop contracting. shrinking, condensing, quieting yourself. stop telling your desires they are unholy. stop telling yourself no (and everyone else yes). consider: when did you stop exploring,... Continue Reading →

I’m not sorry

forchoosing myselfsaying no when you thought i'd say yesnot wanting to be touched wanting nothing but to be touched for taking up space and promising to take up even more making you feel uncomfortable for any reason not liking you not spending one moment worrying about what you think for not having a perfect body,... Continue Reading →

Winter Sleep

I stayed in bed all morning.Sun through the large window,bathing the cat and my calves in January sunbursts, rays of yellow. The coffee spilled; I didn't mind. I am unbothered. I absorb only light, only breath. The yous around me vanishuntil I say "you are the you right now".I orchestrate the time for entering; exiting.I... Continue Reading →

I am quiet

Focused on the fucking heart that has been jumping out of my throat. That skin I've kept trying to change. I am quiet. Which doesn't mean silent,but rather finally able to feel the scream. How sometimes it felt like choking on coagulated clots. Even in moments I loved. Ones I felt full of sound. The... Continue Reading →

My hair started falling out.Breaking off. Telling me no. Screaming at me, punishing. Money -- funneled to products, vitamins, serums.Nearly prayed. The blond, confused tanglesare just now starting to understand again-that I am in charge. Small, brand new hairspushing their way throughmy scalp, like tulips looking for sun when snow is still covering their sleepy... Continue Reading →

So punk rawk

Between the rosé and the cheese plate,I figured it all out. Or actually, I figured out absolutely nothing, and that was everything. I left what I knew about myself and decided to remember the old parts. The parts that lived in the breath and blood.Giving me controlled life along the way, until I surrendered. Finally... Continue Reading →

Vocabulary

I am learning my own language. The sounds and subtext of my bodywhen the vowels make long, drawnout sounds, and when they stop suddenly. Blunt and obvious. I haven't spoken this language of mein a long time, and I am stumbling through every awkward sentence. Did you hear me?Do you understand me?Is all of myself... Continue Reading →

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