My hair started falling out.Breaking off. Telling me no. Screaming at me, punishing. Money -- funneled to products, vitamins, serums.Nearly prayed. The blond, confused tanglesare just now starting to understand again-that I am in charge. Small, brand new hairspushing their way throughmy scalp, like tulips looking for sun when snow is still covering their sleepy... Continue Reading →
Between the rosé and the cheese plate,I figured it all out. Or actually, I figured out absolutely nothing, and that was everything. I left what I knew about myself and decided to remember the old parts. The parts that lived in the breath and blood.Giving me controlled life along the way, until I surrendered. Finally... Continue Reading →
I am learning my own language. The sounds and subtext of my bodywhen the vowels make long, drawnout sounds, and when they stop suddenly. Blunt and obvious. I haven't spoken this language of mein a long time, and I am stumbling through every awkward sentence. Did you hear me?Do you understand me?Is all of myself... Continue Reading →
I am a highway they've tried to change. Because I am something not everyone knows how to love. I triumph like a girl; an overwhelmingly dangerous animal is a part of me. Teeth baring and protective of my meal. Here I am. Alive more than some. When I write words on paper. When I see... Continue Reading →
It's not plot. It's what comes in night terrors and dreamy dripping fantasies that take over the afternoon. Things that don't make sense, finding their way inside chest cavities, through open-ended questions, burning paper with every single thing that needs to be forgotten. Or repaired. Or rebuilt. Lyrics I forgot I knew until the song... Continue Reading →
To bud life at the root, you must cut off the dead. Slice through the heart of what is no longer growing. Trap the energy in the fingerlings that reach up and out to portals that are waiting for new, green sprouts. Blooms buried so deep the only way to coax them out is a... Continue Reading →
Last night, I walked in the rain for the first time in decades. Let the cold water soak my clothes until my skin glistened like a waterfall. Eyes wide; skin shedding. No running, no rushing. Born from the uncomfortable. I am at stand still on a long road in the blue... Continue Reading →
A lesson learned the hard way growing up in the pews of buildings that spiral to heaven, you memorize the muted colors of hymnals and padded folding chairs. the small hairs in your ears, back of arms, knowing by heart every phrase separating you from anything other. all the colorful. all the raw. the... Continue Reading →
To Reflect step a bit closer bring your face near to me look into your own eyes. i am a replica, a mimic. i am nothing more than a lens to echo the way your particles align. every atom. every cell. how they converge into matter. the mistakes, scars. distractions. a structure for what is... Continue Reading →
Haiku 1 'I want' is nothing 'I have' is getting closer 'I am' is fuck yes Haiku 2 say your desires see your new reality life is sure to change Haiku 3 non-choice is sure death i have to choose specific this is my empire Haiku 4 this is who i am i am free... Continue Reading →
Pisces i am called to water like i remember deeply the comfort of the womb. the softness of floating, the blur between skin and salt. diving into the wreckage is how i make sense of blood and nerves. the deepness, terrifying. breath exploding from each pore. unknown creatures with hues never seen on the surface,... Continue Reading →
waking we walk and search but never arrive. destination foggy and far. doors made of gold? rivers of endless youth? trees so ripe with fruit they overhang into our watery hearts? if we stay on this journey, push through monsters under the bed, free falling that jolts you awake, houses burning, frozen limbs while chased,... Continue Reading →
In The Way 